My Funny Valentine
by TooRad-TooSad
Summary: Would it be out of line for me to get him a Valentine's card or something? Could I be his Valentine? She sat there, the internal fight for her eyes settled on Soul, and now she was indeed staring. And she felt funny, like she needed to throw up or something...she really felt like she could jump out of the window…


She had been staring for quite a while. Okay, maybe not staring. I guess you could say that it's more like stalking, yet not even that. There really isn't a good way to explain the way her eyes darted to and fro, between the calendar and her weapon, both tugging at her attention span. The calendar read _Valentine's Day_, but her partner read _I'm really bored and there's nothing on, so I guess this show will do_. It may seem like nothing, but her calendar and partner were in a cause and effect relationship that made her heart heavy. Maka soon found thoughts emerging from her brain that she couldn't fathom herself thinking.

_Would it be out of line for me to get him a Valentine's card or something?__** Could I be his Valentine?**_

She sat there, the internal struggle for her eyes settled on Soul, and now she was indeed staring. And blushing. And she felt funny, like she needed to throw up or something...she really felt like she could jump out of the window…

_Oh._

She snapped out of it, realizing that she was being creepy, because her eyes were still on him. Her eyes relocated to her lap and she noticed that her hands were a bit sweaty. She merely shrugged it off because she'd be damned if she had a crush on Soul Eater Evans.

She exhaled slowly and sprawled her legs out. She let her head fall back against the couch and she closed her eyes so she could think. If she was going to fight with herself, she was going to do it comfortably. Now where was she? Oh yeah, that's right. What could it hurt? It's not too weird, is it?

She sighed. I guess there was no argument. Her subconscious chose for her. But the details of the Valentine's gift, whatever it may be, were important. Maybe she should get something that says 'Hey, you're cool and I appreciate you so I'm getting you this because I care for you as a friend'. Or she could get a blunt 'Hey, I'm finally rejecting my denial to tell you that I've realized that I am a human being with emotions and sexual desires and I spend way too much fantasizing about bouncing on your dick. Marry me'.

She sighed. One idea doesn't say enough and the other says way too much.

"You okay over there?" Soul asked, his brow furrowed.

"Oh, yeah." She said, placing her hand on her forehead.

"You sure?" He began, "That was an awful lot of sighing."

"I'm fine," Maka began, but paused to rub her face. "I was just thinking."

"About what?"

Maka paused and browsed her words carefully before replying.

"Nothing much, Valentine's day. Apparently it's today." She retorted coolly.

"Oh. Yeah. I guess it is." He replied, not the least interested. Out of nowhere, a smirk tugged at his lips. She could just see the little gears in his heads shifting.

"What are you smirking at?" She asked, suspiciously.

Soul chuckled and then said, "Don't worry tiny tits, one day someone will be your Valentine, there's no need to get pissy about it."

_What the- who the hell does he think she is? _Maka instantly got angry.

"What the hell Soul? What do you take me for?" She yelled. "I've got better things to do than mope around over stupid boys!"

'_Ugh, so predictable!' _ She thought.

Soul laughed "Kidding, Kidding" as she steamed on her side of the couch.

"Whatever…" she muttered, still angry.

She eventually calmed down and inspiration struck her. She knew exactly what kind of valentine she was going to make him. She gracefully stood up and walked to her room, pulled out red construction paper, a black sharpie and scissors, then sat down at her desk and began to draw a heart, cut it out and proceed to write her message to Soul on it. She stood up and peeked into the living room. Soul was still in the living room in full slouch mode. Yeah, he wasn't getting up anytime soon. She looked down at her hand made valentine. Something was missing. '_Oh yeah'._ She knew just what it needed. She grabbed some tape and a hershey's kiss from the kitchen counter, then taped it onto the card. _Perfect._

She walked by Soul casually and dropped the Valentine in his lap. To her pleasure, it landed perfectly. She plopped down onto the couch and watched his reaction unfold.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Soul's POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"_Fuck yourself, -with love" _read the heart that Maka oh-so-casually dropped in his lap. The 'fuck yourself' was written in bold and the 'with love' was written so elegantly in the prettiest, neatest cursive that he had ever seen Maka write.

He couldn't help but smile as he peeled the kiss off the card and toyed with it between his fingers. He looked at his meister and as soon as their eyes met, they both broke out into laughter.

"Your a fucking asshole." Soul laughed, "but it's cute, I'm putting it on the fridge."

"Cute? You're demented!" Maka commented.

"Naw, just kinky." He replied jokingly and winked at her.

Maka rolled her eyes and smiled lightly as he got up and made his way to the kitchen. He stuck a magnet on it and then made his way back to his sweetheart of a meister. When he got to the couch he stopped in front of her and leaned in really close to her face, using both his hands to prop him up. He could see a light blush dust across her cute little face.

"You want a kiss?" He teased, looking at her lips teasingly, then back up at her eyes, which were wide and reminded him of Bambi.

"Wh-What?" She choked out, trying to back away from him.

He smiled and leaned in even closer, his eyes smoldering.

"I said, do you want a kiss?" He repeated, flashing a seductive grin at her - which quickly turned into a shit-eating grin as he brought his left hand up, revealing a tiny little hershey's kiss sitting in the palm of his hand.

Maka lit up in flames as she screamed, "You. Little. Peice. Of. Shit!"

Soul busted out laughing as she pounded her fists into his chest.

"Sorry, not sorry!" Soul yelled as he ran. She got her hands on 2004 edition of Webster Dictionary, and though it was so worth it, he wasn't going down without a fight. Maka ran at him full force, curses stringing along with her. She lifted her arms up in preparation of the fatal blow, but as she pulled the book down towards his cranium, he caught her wrists and placed his lips on hers. This quickly escalated into a heated, but passionate and very violent, make-out session. They finally pulled apart, very much tired and out of breath. He rested his hand on the small of her back as she rested her head on his chest, somewhat dazed. Well, more like shocked at what just happened.

After replaying the previous events of the night in his head, Soul chortled and kissed Maka on the head. One phrase was all he could think.

'_My funny Valentine'._


End file.
